What If Dinosaurs Never Went Extinct?
What If Steve Jobs Never Dropped Out of College?
What if Victoria Woodhull became president in 1872?
What if the Nazis won World War II?
What If We Never Discovered Fossil Fules?
What started off as a statement for the fair treatment of dinosaurs, quickly turned into a blood bath last Friday in the outskirts of San Francisco. Sarah Baker, a rising junior at Wesleyan University in Connecticut, was home in the bay area for summer break. She had recently joined PETA and was described as being very committed to the cause' from those who knew her best. At approximately 10:33 PT, Baker and a friend, climbed a gate located near the southeast entrance of the San Francisco Zoo. Once inside, Baker navigated her way to the dinosaur sanctuary, an artificial 50,000 sqft. state-of-the-art, climate controlled facility. The sanctuary was completed two years ago, and is the largest of it's kind in the world. Police released a statement tuesday confirming that the intruders had somehow optioned a copy of the facility's master key. With the help of some raw meat, Baker was able to lure Bessy, the largest female tyrannosaurus at the facility, out of her confinement, and she was eventually released to the wild.
Security quickly spotted Baker, but by the time help arrived, the dinosaur was already gone. Once in the wild, Bessy quickly stumbled upon a backyard graduation party for Michael Minter, a recent graduate of the Stanford University Law School. Witnesses say the beast felt threatened and began lashing out immediately. Nineteen dead and eleven injured people later, Bessy moved on eventually killing 6 more in her path. The dinosaur was tranquilized moments later by the police dinosaur unit and taken to a lab for observation. Sarah Baker and her accomplish face up to 20 years in prison for breaking and entering and involuntary manslaughter.
The reason for this species decimation is because of poachers desperately seeking the beasts' coveted horns. The demand for the horns largely results from the medical beliefs of many African and Asian countries, which think the horns can cure a variety of ailments. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the horn is shaved or ground into a fine powder, dissolved in boiling water, and used to treat fever, gout, and other disorders. Other believe it can cure snakebites, hallucinations, typhoid, headaches, and "devil possession." Medical experts say there has been no evidence discovered to back up any of these false claims.
SADDLEBACK CO. AND KATE SPADE LLC ANNOUNCE A DINOSAUR LEATHER LICENSING AGREEMENT FOR THE LAUNCH OF VELOCUS AND THE EXTENSION FOR KATE SPADE NEW YORK THROUGH OCTOBER 10, 2018
Saddleback Co., worldwide leader in the premium dinosaur leather and Kate Spade LLC, owned by Fifth & Pacific Companies Inc., jointly announce the signing of a five-year North American dinosaur leather licensing agreement for the design, production and distribution of VELOCUS, and the three-year extension of the current kate spade new york international licensing agreement. Both agreements are in effect through October 10, 2018.
"We are enthusiastic to expand this very fruitful partnership that has huge growth expectations. Velocus creates new possibilities to develop and expand this segment of our portfolio that has tremendous potential, with a stylish, yet timeless, functional brand that has a sense of adventure. The prolongation of our Kate Spade licensing agreement by three years is particularly rewarding for us, evidence of the incredible success we are having together," said Josh Stolz, CEO of Saddleback Co. Group.
April in the Barrier Reef is characterized by new life and widespread death. For a month every year, one of the most dangerous sea creatures on Earth, the mosasaur, gathers there to mate. During this period, their hormonal changes lead to increased aggression and raised appetites. Recently, iconic dinosaur hunter, Steve Irwin, jumped into the warm waters surrounding the reef in the hopes of capturing some footage of the chilling Mosasaur for an upcoming documentary about dangerous sea creatures. Irwin dove down in a titanium cage with his cameraman, having several close encounters with the devastating monsters. After thrity minutes in the cage, Irwin received a signal from team members on his boat that it was safe to surface and return to the vessel. As he swam back, he noticed a large shadow approaching him. According to his cameraman, the two men quickly identified it as a large stingray, which are not known to harm humans. Irwin, excited by the possibility of getting extra footage, approached the creature to investigate. This backfired in a very tragic way, however, as the stingray mistook Irwin for a predator and stung him in the chest several times with it's sharp, barbed tail. Irwin was immediately brought onto his boat, where he was shortly pronounced dead.
Irwin, famous for his legendary dinosaur adventures and catchphrase "crikey", had survived hundreds of close encounters with some of the world's most dangerous dinos and will be remembered as a pioneer in his field. He was the first adventurer and television personality to capture closeup footage of dinosaurs in the wild. While dinosaurs are often villainized in the media as flesh-eating monsters, he was able to capture footage that contradicted popular perceptions. He was able to depict dinosaurs as strong, loyal creatures, that have strong family values and would do anything for their young. Capturing playful footage of some of the world's most feared creatures, like the tyrannosaurus, was common. Irwin repeatedly echoed the notion that dinosaurs were not cold-blooded killers, but were peaceful, intellectual creatures that were often misunderstood. Aside from entertainment, fundraising was always a passion of Irwin's. Through his efforts, he was able to raise enough money to fund a small research lab dedicated to studying dinosaur behavior.
Steve Irwin's impact on the way humans view dinosaurs is truly extraordinary. He risked his well-being time and time again to bring the world entertainment, and more importantly, the truth. We will all miss the excitement in his voice every time he was in front camera, doing what he was born to do. Not only will he be missed by us, but by the dinosaurs he gave his life to study.
Roman Emperor Commodus was known for more than just his vanity. He was also known for his defiance, often directed towards members of the senate. Records indicate that Commodus was known for slaying hundreds of dinosaurs in the arena, often to the horror of the Roman people. On one particular afternoon, he is rumored to have brought a baby raptor out into the middle of the arena. At first, he showed the small creature some affection, caressing it's face with his hands and scratching it's tiny, feathered back.
The crowd was moved by the warm display from the typically cold emperor. Commodus kept up this puzzing, atypical routine for a few more minutes, until he finally set the raptor down, raised his sword with a sick smile on his face, and decapitated the baby raptor in a swift, heartless motion. Afterwards, he carried the severed head to the area of the arena where the senators sat, as if to gesture that they were next.
This type of sick entertainment was what the Roman citizens came to expect from Commodus. Fancying himself after Hercules, Commodus took great pleasure in exerting physical dominance over other creatures. He is said to have slayed 3 tyrannosaurus' on the floor of the arena by himself. Finally, Commodus killed a Brachiosaurus, which was considered to be a strange and helpless beast. All of the dinosaurs killed by the Emperor, were brought into the Collessium either wounded or too sick to defend themselves. It were actions like these, that many believe led to his assassination.
After battling pancreatic cancer for nearly six years, doctors informed 91-year-old Karl Frick on Tuesday that he most likely would not last the night. Family and friends were close by his side to pay their final respects, when Frick surprised them all by announcing his homosexuality. Although suspected by those who knew him best, Frick never felt safe telling anyone, including his family, out of fear of being taken to a concentration camp under the 'extermination through work' policy.
Joseph Hess, a longtime doctor in Cambridge, MA is facing a looming execution for performing an abortion on a young woman last month at his home. Livid upon hearing the news, the woman's husband reported the event to the authorities. Hess was swiftly taken into custody where he awaits his sentence. Hess will become the 231st person punished for performing the procedure since they were outlawed in 1946.
Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) became the latest Republican to endorse over-the-counter condom access in a debate Thursday night in Bangor. Collins, who is on record opposing the issue on several different occasions, has historically been in favor of legislation aimed at restricting men's health access. This distinct change appears to be part of a larger republican agenda to fend off attacks of their frequently criticized anti-man voting records. There are some meninists, however, that are skeptical of their recent fervor.
For the 6th consecutive year, the number of men in the workplace have risen by at least 2%. Women, who have historically held higher employment rates since the late 1800s, have come forward this week claiming that this is due to a phenomenon known as 'reverse discrimination.'